I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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