There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
