guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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