I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's rum buckets o'clock
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
