Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
