He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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