I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize