marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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