Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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