clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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