carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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