I think i peed on brittanys purse
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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