I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
How's work?
Spinning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
