I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
