took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
