Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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