But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
