so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
