I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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