i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
