I cockslap morals
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
