clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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