that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Acid is not a monday night drug
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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