So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
