I skipped work to stalk him.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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