i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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