when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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