Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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