My hand turned me down
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
