They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
