Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
