so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
