I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
birth control should be required to get into college
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
