i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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