Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
