my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
