you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
