I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize