i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
