now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
