I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
