You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So many bounce houses so little time
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
