Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
