Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
