Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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