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I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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