Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
