he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
