that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
