i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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