Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize