hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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