She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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