she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
