No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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