oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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