why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
