put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
