You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
