so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
